Sympathy and memorial plants

A plant is becoming the quiet alternative to funeral flowers in the UK. Flowers arrive with everyone else's, fill the house in a week and then all die at once, which is a hard thing to tidy up. A plant stays, and a year later it is still standing for the person.

Send it when it suits the family, not only in the first week. The fortnight after the funeral is when the house goes quiet and most people stop getting post.

We don't sell plants - we make cards, pin badges and prints in house, printed in the UK. So this is a straight guide to the plant, and the card to send with it.

The traditional sympathy plants

• Peace lily - the standard UK sympathy plant. Undemanding, white flowered, and it tells you when it needs water.
• Rosemary - remembrance, and it can be planted out into the garden afterwards.
• Forget-me-nots - memory and enduring love, particularly for a child or a young person.
• White orchid - formal and quietly beautiful, suited to sending to a workplace or a service.
• Olive tree - peace and endurance, and it lives for decades.

Memorial planting for the garden

• A rose in their favourite colour, planted where it can be seen from the kitchen window.
• A small tree - rowan, silver birch or apple - for a permanent marker in the garden.
• A lavender bed, which draws bees and smells of summer every year.
• Spring bulbs planted in autumn, so something comes up on the first anniversary.
• A pot of rosemary by the door, brushed past every day.

What to avoid sending

• Anything fussy. A grieving household has no capacity for a plant with rules.
• Bright novelty pots and slogans.
• Large arrangements to a small house, which become one more thing to manage.
• Plants toxic to pets, unless you know there aren't any.
• A plant with no card. The message is the part they keep.

What to write with a sympathy plant

• Thinking of you. This one is easy to look after, so please don't worry about it.
• Rosemary, for remembrance. I'm so sorry.
• Something living for the garden, for when you're ready to plant it.
• No reply needed. I'm here whenever you want company.
• She'd have had an opinion about this plant. Thinking of you all.

Shop sympathy cards

How to write it so it lands

• Say in the card that it needs almost no care. It removes the worry of killing it.
• Choose plain pots in white, green or terracotta.
• If you're sending to a funeral, check with the family first - some ask for donations instead.
• Offer to plant it with them later. That offer is often the real gift.

Where to shop next

• Plant gifts UK
• What plant to give for each occasion
• How to wrap a plant as a gift
• Plants as a housewarming gift
• Plant meanings and symbolism
• Low maintenance plants to give
• Pet safe plants for gifting
• Plants as seasonal gifts
• How to keep a gifted plant alive
• Sympathy card messages
• Gift wrapping ideas
• All guides
• Pin badges

Frequently asked questions

Is it appropriate to send a plant instead of funeral flowers?

Yes, and many UK families now prefer it. A plant lasts beyond the funeral and doesn't need to be thrown away a week later.

What plant is best for sympathy?

A peace lily for the house, or rosemary if they'd like something to plant outside. Both are easy to care for and carry the right associations.

When should I send a sympathy plant?

Any time in the first few months. Sending two or three weeks after the funeral often means more, because that's when the messages stop arriving.

What do you write with a memorial plant?

Keep it short, name the person, and say no reply is needed. One honest sentence beats a long message.