Sympathy card messages and what to write

There is no message that fixes this, and nobody expects one. A sympathy card only has to do two things: say you know, and say you're here. Short is not cold — most people reread these cards months later, and the plain ones are the ones that hold up.

The messages below are grouped by who has died and by tone, so you can find something suitable for a colleague you don't know well as easily as for a close friend.

If you knew the person who died, say their name and one true thing about them. That single sentence is usually the part the family keeps.

Short sympathy messages

• Thinking of you, today and in the weeks to come. Shop this card
• So very sorry for your loss. Shop this card
• With deepest sympathy from all of us. Shop this card
• Holding you in my thoughts. Shop this card
• There are no right words, but I'm here. Shop this card
• Sending love, and time, and anything else you need. Shop this card
• I'm so sorry. Please don't reply to this — just know I'm thinking of you. Shop this card

Loss of a mother or father

• Your mum was one of the kindest people I've met, and I'm so sorry. Shop this card
• I'll always remember your dad's laugh. Thinking of you all. Shop this card
• Losing a parent changes everything. Be gentle with yourself. Shop this card
• She was proud of you, and she said so often. I'm so sorry. Shop this card
• Your dad looked after everyone. I hope you let people look after you now. Shop this card

Loss of a partner

• You two had something rare. I'm so very sorry. Shop this card
• Thinking of you every day, and remembering him with you. Shop this card
• She lit up every room you were both in. I'm so sorry. Shop this card
• Take whatever time you need. I'm not going anywhere. Shop this card
• There's no timetable for this. I'll be here whenever you want company. Shop this card

Sympathy messages for a colleague or acquaintance

• So sorry to hear your news. Thinking of you and your family. Shop this card
• With sympathy from everyone here. Take all the time you need. Shop this card
• We're all thinking of you. Nothing at work is urgent. Shop this card
• Very sorry for your loss. Please shout if there's anything practical we can do. Shop this card

Loss of a pet

• He was part of the family and it's right that it hurts. So sorry. Shop this card
• Sixteen years of loyalty deserves a proper grieve. Thinking of you. Shop this card
• She had the best life with you. I'm so sorry. Shop this card
• The house must feel very quiet. Sending love. Shop this card

Offering practical help

• I'll drop dinner round on Thursday — no need to answer the door. Shop this card
• I'm free any evening this week if you'd like company or quiet. Shop this card
• I can do the school run for as long as you need. Just say the word. Shop this card
• I'll ring on Sunday. If you don't want to talk, I'll ring again the week after. Shop this card

Thinking of you cards

For the weeks after, when the cards have stopped arriving.

Pet sympathy cards

For the loss of a dog, cat or a very old companion.

How to write it so it lands

• Use the person's name — "your loss" reads as a form letter.
• Offer something concrete you'll actually do, with a date attached.
• Don't ask questions; a card shouldn't create a job for the bereaved.

Where to shop next

• Sympathy and bereavement cards
• Buy a sympathy card online
• Pet loss cards
• Get well soon cards
• Scented soy candles

Frequently asked questions

What do you write in a sympathy card?

Say you're sorry, name the person who died if you knew them, and offer one specific thing you can actually do. Three sentences is plenty — the card is a signal that you know, not an essay.

What should you not write in a sympathy card?

Avoid "everything happens for a reason", "they're in a better place" and anything that begins "at least". Also avoid asking questions, which leaves the family owing you a reply.

Is it too late to send a sympathy card?

No. Cards arriving weeks or months later are often the most welcome, because that's when the house has gone quiet. Say so in the card: "I know it's been a while, and I'm still thinking of you."

What do you write in a sympathy card for a colleague?

Keep it warm and brief, sign from the team as well as yourself, and make clear that nothing at work is expected of them.