How To Host A 90th Birthday Afternoon Tea Party

Afternoon tea is the format that suits a 90th better than anything else. Everyone sits down, everyone can hear each other, and it's finished by four o'clock.

Below is the whole thing: what to serve and how much of it, the order it comes out in, how to lay the table, and how to make a front room look like an occasion without turning it into a nightclub.

Honest note: we make the banners, bunting, balloons, confetti, cake toppers and cards. Ready-made 90th kits and tableware come from elsewhere.

Timings that work

• 2pm to 4pm. Late enough that everyone's had lunch, early enough that nobody's driving home in the dark.
• Put the finish time on the invitation. Two hours seated is the right amount for a guest of honour of ninety.
• Sandwiches out at 2.15, scones at 2.45, cake and speeches at 3.15, photographs at 3.30, done by 4.
• Do everything you can the day before: sandwiches can be made in the morning and kept covered with a damp tea towel in the fridge.

What to serve, and how much

• Four finger sandwiches per person. Cut the crusts off - it isn't fussiness, it's easier eating.
• Classic fillings: egg and cress, coronation chicken, ham and mustard, cucumber, smoked salmon and cream cheese. Two savoury, two lighter.
• One and a half scones per person, warm, with clotted cream and strawberry jam in separate dishes.
• Two or three small cakes each: Victoria sponge, lemon drizzle, a tray bake cut small, plus the birthday cake itself.
• Soft options across the board, not on a separate plate. Sponge over anything crunchy, and nothing that needs cutting up on a lap.
• Tea in a proper pot, plus one refilled hot water jug, decaf on the side and a jug of squash or cordial for the children.
• One glass of something fizzy for the toast is plenty, with an elderflower version poured into the same glasses.

Laying the table

• A white or ivory cloth is the single biggest upgrade. Everything else looks smarter on top of it.
• Use the good china if it exists - a 90th is exactly what it was bought for. Mismatched vintage cups look deliberate rather than short.
• A tiered stand in the middle, cake on its own stand at the end where the candles get lit.
• Scatter a pinch of table confetti after the plates are down, not before - Shop the range Shop this card
• Low flowers only. Anything tall means guests talk to a vase instead of each other.
• Name cards in large clear print, so nobody has to work out where to sit or squint at a label.

Dressing the room

• One wall does all the work: a banner at eye level behind the cake table, bunting running either side of it.
• Banners and bunting - Shop the range
• A 9 and a 0 balloon by the door, in the same two colours as the table - Shop the range Shop this card
• A photo timeline along one wall, one picture per decade with the year written underneath. It's the entertainment as well as the decoration.
• Keep it to two colours plus one metallic. Gold, ivory and a soft blush read as elegant; primary colours read as a children's party.
• Music from their twenties on low, and off completely for the speeches.
• Full styling guide - Read the guide

Kit list for twelve guests

• Two teapots, one hot water jug, twelve cups and saucers, twelve side plates, twelve small forks.
• Two tiered stands, one cake stand, a cake knife and a lighter.
• One tablecloth, twelve napkins, one pack of table confetti, one banner, one string of bunting, two number balloons. Shop this card
• Two spare chairs with arms, and a chair in a quiet room away from the noise.
• Borrow rather than buy the crockery - church halls, neighbours and the family all have more than they use.

Making it personal

• A memory book open on a side table with a pen, for one line from each guest.
• One card from the whole family, signed by everyone - Shop the range
• A short toast rather than a long speech - Read the guide
• Card wording - Read the guide

Shop party decorations

How to write it so it lands

• 2pm to 4pm, finish time on the invitation.
• Four sandwiches, one and a half scones, three small cakes per head.
• White cloth, low flowers, large-print name cards.
• Dress one wall properly instead of the whole room.

Where to shop next

• 90th birthday cards
• Bunting and banners
• Birthday balloons
• Table confetti
• Cake toppers
• Party supplies
• How to plan a 90th birthday party
• How to celebrate a 90th birthday at home
• Elegant 90th birthday party themes
• 90th birthday wishes and card messages
• 90th birthday jokes, quotes and toasts
• 90th birthday gifts for men
• Grandad 90th birthday gifts
• Planning the party? Birthday party ideas
• Birthday badges & party pins
• How to make a balloon arch
• Photo booth prop ideas
• Party bag ideas for adults
• How much helium do you need for balloons?
• Birthday cards for kids
• Pin badges
• All guides

Frequently asked questions

What do you serve at a 90th birthday afternoon tea?

Finger sandwiches with the crusts off, warm scones with clotted cream and jam, a few small cakes and the birthday cake, with tea in a proper pot. Allow four sandwiches, one and a half scones and two or three small cakes per person.

What time should an afternoon tea party start?

2pm, finishing at 4pm. Everyone has eaten lunch, nobody drives home in the dark, and two seated hours is the right length for a guest of honour of ninety.

How do you set a table for afternoon tea?

White or ivory cloth, the good china, a tiered stand in the middle and the cake on its own stand at the end. Low flowers only, a pinch of confetti scattered after the plates are down, and large-print name cards.

How much food do you need per person for afternoon tea?

Four finger sandwiches, one and a half scones and two or three small cakes each, plus a slice of birthday cake. Make the sandwiches in the morning and keep them under a damp tea towel in the fridge.

How do you decorate a room for a 90th birthday tea?

Dress one wall rather than the whole room: a banner at eye level behind the cake table with bunting either side, two number balloons by the door and a photo timeline along another wall. Two colours plus one metallic.

Do you make 90th birthday decoration kits yourself?

We make banners, bunting, balloons, table confetti, cake toppers, cards and pin badges in the UK. A ready-made 90th kit with the numeral, sashes and matching napkins comes from elsewhere - where we mention one, it's a recommendation rather than our stock.