Funny New Job Gifts: Hilarious Presents to Help Them Survive the Office
A new job means new faces, new systems and a new kettle politics to learn. A funny gift takes the edge off the first-day nerves.
Here are ideas that are funny without being career-limiting, plus card messages to go with them.
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New job cards
Funny and heartfelt new job cards, designed in house in the UK.
Funny desk survival gifts
- A cheeky pin badge for their lanyard or bag. It's an easy conversation starter in week one.
- A giant mug labelled for their tea, so nobody else nicks it.
- An office survival kit: biscuits, paracetamol, a stress ball and earplugs.
- A funny book about office life, to read on the commute.
- A desk plant with a silly name tag, as their first coworker who never talks in meetings.
Funny new job card messages
- Congratulations on your new job! Remember: reply-all is never the answer.
- New job, new colleagues to pretend to like. Good luck!
- Well done! Now you just need to learn where the good biscuits are hidden.
- Congrats! May your inbox be small and your lunch breaks long.
Found your words? Now find the card
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How to write it so it lands
- Keep it office-safe, because they'll be showing it to people they've just met.
- Give it before their first day so they can take it in.
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Frequently asked questions
What is a funny gift for someone starting a new job?
A cheeky pin badge, an office survival kit or a funny book about office life all work, and none of them will embarrass them at their new desk.
How much should I spend on a new job gift?
£5 to £20 is typical. A good card with a funny line is often enough.
What is a good example of funny new job gifts: hilarious presents to help them survive the office?
"A cheeky pin badge for their lanyard or bag. It's an easy conversation starter in week one." is one of 9 examples on this page. Pick the one closest to the tone you want, then add a specific detail of your own - a shared memory, a date, a name - so it reads as yours rather than copied.
Can I copy these messages word for word?
Yes. Everything on this page is free to copy, print and read out - no permission or credit needed. Changing one detail so it fits the person is all we would suggest.