Easy School Talent Show Ideas For Kids Who Love To Perform

The best school talent show acts aren't the most impressive ones. They're the ones a nine year old can do confidently in two minutes on a noisy stage.

Here are acts that work, with the comedy route explained properly - it's the one children most want to do and get the least help with.

Acts that work on a school stage

• Stand-up comedy. Six or seven short jokes, learned properly, is a complete two-minute act - and it's the one the whole hall joins in with.
• A magic trick, done twice: once normally, once badly on purpose.
• A song with a backing track, chosen because they know every word already.
• An instrument piece kept to ninety seconds.
• A dance routine with three friends, which halves the nerves.
• A gymnastics or skipping routine, if the hall floor allows it.
• Impressions of teachers - clear it with a grown-up first.
• A poem they've written themselves, which lands harder than people expect.

Doing stand-up comedy properly

• Pick seven jokes from a proper kids' joke book and cut it to the five that get the biggest laugh at home.
• Clean, short and fast. Knock-knock and one-liners beat long stories every time.
• Learn them off by heart. Reading off a card kills the timing.
• Pause after the punchline and count to two. The laugh needs a gap to arrive in.
• Open with the second-best joke and close with the best one.
• Have one spare joke ready in case one doesn't land - the recovery gets its own laugh.
• Practise on a grandparent. If they laugh, the hall will.

Getting through the day

• Two minutes maximum. Every good school act is shorter than the child wants it to be.
• Rehearse standing up, out loud, in a room with someone in it.
• Check the microphone before the day, or plan to be heard without one.
• Nerves are normal. Tell them the shake goes away after the first line, because it does.
• Agree what happens if they change their mind - that safety net is usually why they go on.
• Whatever happens, make a fuss of them afterwards. That's the bit they remember.

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How to write it so it lands

• Five jokes learned by heart beat ten read off a card.
• Time the act with a phone. It's always longer than it feels.
• Decide the last line before anything else.

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Frequently asked questions

What are good talent show ideas for kids?

Stand-up comedy, a magic trick, a song with a backing track, a short instrument piece, a group dance, gymnastics or a poem they've written. Keep any act to two minutes.

How can a child do stand-up comedy at a talent show?

Choose five short, clean jokes from a joke book, learn them by heart, pause after each punchline, open strong and close with the best one. Five good jokes is a full two-minute act.

How long should a school talent show act be?

Ninety seconds to two minutes. Short acts get the biggest reaction and are far easier to rehearse well.

How do you help a nervous child perform?

Rehearse out loud in front of one person, agree an easy way out if they change their mind, and remind them the nerves fade after the first line. Praise the going on, not the performance.

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No. We design and print cards, enamel pin badges, prints and party decorations, all posted from the UK. Any book or toy mentioned here is an outside recommendation, not something we stock.