Asking For Money Instead Of Gifts: Wording That Works

Asking for money instead of gifts

Money is the most useful wedding and milestone gift, and the hardest to ask for. The trick is to explain what it is for - a fund with a purpose never reads as grabby.

Below is wording for invitations, wedding websites and gift lists, including short poems if you want one.

Thank you cards

A written thank you matters more when the gift was money.

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Browse thank you cards

Weddings - simple and direct

  • We already have a home full of everything we need, so if you'd like to give a gift, a contribution to our honeymoon would be very welcome.
  • Your presence is the gift. If you would like to give more, we're saving towards our first home.
  • We're not having a gift list. Anything towards the honeymoon fund would be gratefully received.
  • No gifts required at all - but if you'd like to, there's a honeymoon fund on our website.

Weddings - short poems

  • We've got the pans, the plates, the bed - a trip abroad we'd love instead.
  • Our home is full, our cupboards too; a little towards our honeymoon would do.
  • No lists, no fuss, no bows to tie - a contribution, if you'd like to, and we'll raise a glass to you.

Milestone birthdays

  • No presents please - I'm saving for a trip, and anything towards it would be lovely.
  • If you'd like to mark the day, there's a jar by the door for the Italy fund.
  • Cards only, or a contribution to the big adventure. Nothing else needed.

Christenings and new babies

  • We're putting anything given into a savings account for her - no gifts needed at all.
  • If you'd like to give something, we're starting a Junior ISA rather than buying more toys.

Where to put it

  • On the wedding website or a separate details card - not on the main invitation.
  • Let parents and close family pass the message on verbally where they can.
  • Give a practical route: a bank transfer, a gift fund page, or a card box on the day.
  • Always say guests are welcome to give nothing.

What to avoid

  • Naming an amount. It turns an invitation into a ticket price.
  • Long poems - two lines works, six does not.
  • "Cash only" or anything that sounds like a condition.
  • Forgetting to thank each guest individually afterwards.

Browse thank you cards

How to write it so it lands

  • Give the fund a name and a purpose - people give to "the honeymoon", not to "money".
  • Write thank yous within a month, and mention what the money went towards.

Where to shop next

Frequently asked questions

Is it rude to ask for money instead of gifts?

Not now, as long as you say what it is for and make clear that giving nothing is fine. Most UK couples marrying today already live together and ask for a honeymoon or house fund.

How do you word a honeymoon fund request?

Keep it to two sentences: say you already have what you need, then say a contribution to the honeymoon would be welcome. Put it on a details card or website, not the invitation itself.

Should you say how much to give?

Never. Naming a figure turns the invitation into a bill. Guests generally give what they would have spent on a present.

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