Group gift etiquette

Group gifts go wrong for predictable reasons: the amount is never stated, one person chases everyone, and nobody says what happened to the spare £7.

This is how to run one so it stays cheerful - from setting the amount to who signs the card.

Setting the amount

• Name a figure, not a range - people find £5 to £20 harder to answer than £10.
• £5 is the usual office norm for a birthday, £10 for a leaving do, more for a big milestone or a long-serving colleague. Shop this card
• Say the amount is a guide and any contribution is welcome, then mean it.
• Never publish who gave what. That is the fastest way to make a collection feel like a tax.
• For friends and family, agree the total gift first and divide by the number of people in.

Asking people to join in

• We're getting Sam a leaving present - £10 each if you'd like to join in, no pressure at all.
• Collection for Priya's 40th. Suggested £5, and the card's going round with it.
• We're clubbing together for the pram rather than lots of small things - shout if you'd like in.
• Completely fine to sign the card without contributing.

Chasing without nagging

• One reminder, one deadline. After that, close it.
• Send the reminder to the whole group, never to individuals.
• "Closing the collection Friday if you'd still like to add anything."
• Take digital payments as well as cash - most people no longer carry any.

Leftover money

• Say up front what happens to leftovers: added to the gift, spent on a card and flowers, or put to the next collection.
• Buy something small extra rather than hand back £1.20 each.
• If it's a large surplus, tell everyone and give the option of it going to charity.
• Never quietly keep it. Someone always asks.

The card

• Everyone signs the card, whether they contributed or not.
• Send the card round before the gift is bought so nobody is left off.
• Write "from all of us at ..." rather than listing amounts.
• For a big group, a large-format card beats squeezing forty names into a small one.

When you'd rather not contribute

• I'll sign the card if that's alright - money's a bit tight this month.
• Count me out of this one, but do put my name on the card.
• I'm giving them something separately, so I'll skip the collection.

Browse cards

How to write it so it lands

• One organiser, one deadline, one payment method. Two of anything doubles the chasing.
• Buy the card first - it is the bit people remember longest.

Where to shop next

• How to accept an apology
• How to return a gift politely
• RSVP wording
• No gifts please wording
• Asking for money instead of gifts
• Printable etiquette slips
• How much to spend on a wedding gift
• Work leaving collections: how much to give
• Colleague leaving messages
• Planning the party? Birthday party ideas
• How to make a balloon arch
• Photo booth prop ideas
• All guides

Frequently asked questions

How much should you give to an office collection?

In the UK, £5 is the usual amount for a birthday collection and £10 for a leaving gift, though the organiser should always name a figure so nobody has to guess.

Is it rude not to contribute to a group gift?

No. Collections should be optional and private. Sign the card, say nothing more about it, and a good organiser will never mention who gave what.

What do you do with leftover collection money?

Decide before you collect: add it to the gift, buy flowers or a card with it, or roll it into the next collection. Announce the choice rather than keeping it quiet.