Anniversaries When You're Apart
Work, forces postings, hospital stays, a parent needing care, or simply living in different countries - plenty of anniversaries happen with the two of you in separate places.
The rule is the same one that governs all long distance gifting: something physical arriving on the day beats anything digital. A message is read and gone; a card sits on a windowsill for a fortnight.
Below: what posts well, how to time it, and what to write when you can't say it in person.
Anniversary cards, printed in the UK
Cards and prints that fit through a letterbox. Printed in the UK and posted first class, usually the same working day.
Things that post well
- A card, first - the single most reliable thing you can send.
- An A5 or A4 print, which posts flat and survives the journey.
- A postcard sent every week in the run-up, arriving on different days.
- A pin badge, which fits through a letterbox and costs almost nothing to post.
- A letter written by hand, which is still the thing people keep.
- A photo printed and posted rather than sent to a phone.
Timing the post
- First Class is usually next working day, but it isn't guaranteed - post two working days ahead.
- Second Class is meant to be two working days and can take up to five. Post the week before.
- Working days are Monday to Saturday, so a Friday post can sit over a Sunday.
- Posting abroad or to a BFPO address? Allow well over a week and check the deadline first.
- If it's going to be late, post it anyway and say so in the message.
Doing something together from apart
- Eat the same meal at the same time, cooked separately.
- Watch the wedding video at the same moment on a call.
- Order dinner to be delivered to them while you eat yours.
- Both write a letter about the year and open them on the call.
- Book the reunion date now and make the booking the gift.
What to write when you're apart
- Happy anniversary. Wrong postcode, right person.
- A year on, and the only thing missing today is you being in the room.
- Happy anniversary. Consider this card a placeholder for the hug.
- Miles apart and still the best decision I ever made.
- Happy anniversary. Next year, same day, same table, both of us.
- Thinking about you all day today, which is not unusual, but especially today.
How to write it so it lands
- Post two working days ahead for First Class, a week ahead for Second.
- Physical beats digital, every time.
- If it's going to be late, send it anyway and say so.
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Frequently asked questions
What do you send for an anniversary when you're apart?
Something physical that fits through a letterbox: a card, a flat print, a postcard or a handwritten letter. A posted item on the day does far more than a message.
When should you post an anniversary card to arrive on time?
First Class is usually next working day but isn't guaranteed, so post two working days ahead. Second Class is meant to be two working days and can take up to five - post the week before.
How do you celebrate an anniversary long distance?
Do one thing at the same time: the same meal, the same film, or letters opened together on a call. Then book the date you'll next be in the same place.