Funny Things to Put in a Father's Day Card: 50 Lines Dad Will Pretend Not to Laugh At

Dads are the easiest audience going: they'll groan at anything, then repeat it at the barbecue as if they wrote it.

Pick a line, add a PS, and if you're feeling generous, a fake award. Done.

Dad-joke lines

• Happy Father's Day to a dad who's always had my back. Mostly to tell me to turn the lights off.
• I'd tell you a dad joke, but you've already told them all. Twice.
• Thanks for teaching me everything you know. It didn't take long.
• Happy Father's Day! You're the best dad in the world. I've checked. Well, Google has.
• Dad, you're like a superhero. Mostly because nobody knows what you actually do at work.

About the classic dad habits

• Happy Father's Day to the man who has never once needed the sat nav.
• Thanks for all the lifts, lectures and 'we're not made of money' speeches.
• Enjoy your day. The thermostat is yours. Just for today.
• Happy Father's Day - may your barbecue be hot and your shed be tidy.

PS lines

• PS. I still haven't paid you back. I think we both knew that.
• PS. Mum helped with the spelling.
• PS. You're still not allowed to choose the music in the car.
• PS. This card is your present. Just kidding. (Check the back.)

Fake awards to write inside

• Official award: World's Loudest Sneeze.
• Certificate of Excellence in Falling Asleep in Front of the Telly.
• Voucher: one (1) afternoon of not being asked to help with the laptop.

From little ones

• Happy Father's Day Daddy! You're my favourite climbing frame.
• I love you more than chocolate. Nearly.
• Daddy, you're the best at piggybacks and the worst at hide and seek.

For step-dads and grandads

• You didn't have to take me on, but you did. Sorry about the teenage years.
• Happy Father's Day Grandad - thanks for being twice the fun and half the rules.
• Happy Father's Day to the dad I picked. Good choice, me.

Shop Father's Day cards

How to write it so it lands

• Dads love a callback to a story the whole family tells.
• Keep the jokes affectionate - teasing, not criticising.
• A fake award or voucher gets pinned to the fridge far longer than the card.

Where to shop next

• Father's Day card messages
• Funny things to put in birthday cards
• How to sign off a card
• All guides
• Planning the party? Birthday party ideas
• How to make a balloon arch
• Photo booth prop ideas
• Birthday cards for kids
• Funny Father's Day cards
• Good luck cards

Frequently asked questions

What is a funny thing to write in a Father's Day card?

Poke fun at a classic dad habit: 'Thanks for teaching me everything you know. It didn't take long.' Add a PS and it's done.

What do you write in a funny Father's Day card from a daughter or son?

Anything about lifts, money or the thermostat works for grown-up kids. Finish with 'love you, Dad' so the joke doesn't do all the talking.

Is it OK to write a funny card to a step-dad?

Yes - a light joke plus a line recognising he chose to be there usually means more than a formal message.

What is a good example of funny things to put in a Father's Day card?

"Happy Father's Day to a dad who's always had my back. Mostly to tell me to turn the lights off." is one of 22 examples on this page. Pick the one closest to the tone you want, then add a specific detail of your own - a shared memory, a date, a name - so it reads as yours rather than copied.