Funny Birthday Card Messages

Funny birthday card messages: what to write

A funny card only works if the line inside matches the joke on the front. These funny birthday card messages are sorted so you can find one that suits whoever you're writing to.

The best card jokes are about ageing, tiredness or money. Pick one, keep it to a sentence, and don't explain it.

Funny messages for anyone

  • Happy birthday. Statistically this is the youngest you'll ever be again, so enjoy it. Shop this card
  • Another year, another set of joints with opinions. Happy birthday. Shop this card
  • Happy birthday. You're only as old as you feel, which is unfortunate news today. Shop this card
  • Congratulations on completing another lap. Same time next year. Shop this card

Funny messages for colleagues

  • Happy birthday. We got you a card because the budget wouldn't stretch further. Shop this card
  • Happy birthday from everyone who signed this without reading it. Shop this card
  • Enjoy your birthday. The inbox will still be there tomorrow. Shop this card

Funny Birthday Card cards

Funny designs printed in the UK on quality card.

Illustration of a pint of Guinness with the text 'Cool Mums Drink Guinness' on a funny Mother's Day card. Cool Mums Drink Guinness (Funny Mothers Day Card) £3.87 Funny Dramatic Exit A6 Postcard Funny Dramatic Exit A6 Postcard £4.00 That's What I Call Old (Funny Mum Happy Birthday Card) That's What I Call Old (Funny Mum Happy Birthday Card) £3.87 Sorry To Hear About Your Loss (Funny 30th Birthday Card) Sorry To Hear About Your Loss (Funny 30th Birthday Card) £3.87 That's What I Call Old (Funny Dad Happy Birthday Card) That's What I Call Old (Funny Dad Happy Birthday Card) £3.87 Every Birthday With Me Is A Gift (Funny Husband Happy Birthday Card) Every Birthday With Me Is A Gift (Funny Husband Happy Birthday Card) £3.87 You Old Bastard (Funny Birthday Card) You Old Bastard (Funny Birthday Card) £3.87 Funny 30th Birthday Card (Frying Pan) Funny 30th Birthday Card (Frying Pan) £3.87

Gifts to send with the card

Add a candle or a pin badge and the card and present arrive together.

Funny Therapy Gift Soy Wax Candle Light After Your Post-Therapy Glow-Up Funny Therapy Gift Soy Wax Candle Light After Your Post-Therapy Glow-Up £15.49 Funny Birthday Gift Soy Wax Candle Another Year of Being the Main Character Funny Birthday Gift Soy Wax Candle Another Year of Being the Main Character £15.49 Funny Self-Care Gift Soy Wax Candle Trying Not to Burn Out Era Funny Self-Care Gift Soy Wax Candle Trying Not to Burn Out Era £15.49 Funny Birthday Gift Soy Wax Candle Another Year Older Still Crushing It Funny Birthday Gift Soy Wax Candle Another Year Older Still Crushing It £15.49 Light When You Need To Calm the Fuck Down Gift Funny Candle Light When You Need To Calm the Fuck Down Gift Funny Candle £15.49 Thinking of You Gift Funny Soy Wax Candle Only Way Is Up Thinking of You Gift Funny Soy Wax Candle Only Way Is Up £15.49 50th Birthday Gift Funny 50th Birthday Gift Pink Candle Fifty And Fabulous 50th Birthday Gift Funny 50th Birthday Gift Pink Candle Fifty And Fabulous £15.49 Self-Care Gift Funny Well-Being Candle For When You Can’t Even Self-Care Gift Funny Well-Being Candle For When You Can’t Even £15.49 Birthday Gift For Her Funny Birthday Gift Birthday Cake and Cock Candle Birthday Gift For Her Funny Birthday Gift Birthday Cake and Cock Candle £15.49 Funny Bury A Bitch For You Friendship Gift For Her Candle Funny Bury A Bitch For You Friendship Gift For Her Candle £15.49 Funny Christmas Gift For Her Stocking Filler Candle Peace And Quiet Funny Christmas Gift For Her Stocking Filler Candle Peace And Quiet £15.49 Funny Graduation Gift Soy Wax Candle Welcome to the Real World Funny Graduation Gift Soy Wax Candle Welcome to the Real World £15.49

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Frequently asked questions

What's a funny thing to write in a birthday card?

One joke about ageing and one genuine wish. Anything longer and the punchline gets lost.