Confirmation timing, costs and what to write

Confirmation is the first of these milestones the young person chooses for themselves, usually between eleven and fifteen. That single fact should shape the card, the gift and the tone of the day.

Here's the timeline from enrolment to the bishop's visit, what it costs, what sponsors and guests give, and wording that treats a fourteen-year-old like the young adult they're being confirmed as.

Timing: how the year runs

• Age: eleven to fifteen in most Catholic dioceses; fourteen and up is common in the Church of England, with adults confirmed too.
• Autumn: enrolment, usually through the parish rather than the school.
• Autumn to spring: preparation sessions, often monthly, plus a service project or retreat day.
• Spring: the candidate chooses a confirmation name and a sponsor - traditionally not a parent.
• The date is set by the bishop's diary, so families get less choice than at a christening.
• The service: a full Mass of about an hour to ninety minutes, with the laying on of hands.
• Afterwards: usually a meal rather than a children's party. Teenagers don't want a bouncy castle.

Costs in the UK

• The service: no charge; a donation to the parish is customary.
• Outfit: £40 to £120, and often clothes they'll wear again rather than anything special.
• Retreat or preparation materials: £0 to £40 depending on the parish.
• Meal out for 12 to 20: £200 to £500, which is how most families mark it.
• Cake and decorations: £30 to £90 if you're doing it at home.
• Typical total: £250 to £700, noticeably less than a christening or communion.

Gift budgets

• Guests: £15 to £30.
• Wider family: £20 to £50.
• Sponsors and godparents: £30 to £100.
• Grandparents: £50 to £150, often towards something specific they want.
• Money towards a named thing beats a generic gift at this age - a bike, a laptop, a trip.
• A dated keepsake, an inscribed book or a good pen still lands. A cuddly toy does not.

What to write: to a teenager

• Congratulations on your confirmation. You chose this yourself, and that says a lot about you.
• Proud of you today - not just for the day, but for sticking with the whole year of it.
• Happy Confirmation Day. Whatever you decide to believe from here, we're behind you.
• You've grown up a lot this year. Congratulations on your confirmation.
• On your confirmation: stand by what you think, and you'll do just fine.

What to write: blessings and religious wording

• May the Holy Spirit guide you in everything you choose from here. Congratulations on your confirmation.
• Confirmed in faith and in your own mind. God bless you today and always.
• Wishing you strength, wisdom and joy as you confirm the promises made for you at baptism.
• May your faith be a comfort to you your whole life. Happy Confirmation Day.

Wording rules

• Say the word "chose". Acknowledging the decision is what separates a good confirmation card from a christening card.
• Skip anything babyish - no teddies, no "little", no baby-blue.
• Three or four lines is enough. Teenagers do not want a speech.
• Use their confirmation name if you know it; almost nobody does and they'll notice.
• Sign with your relationship and the date.

Shop confirmation cards

Cards for the day

Blank inside, posted first class the same working day.

How to write it so it lands

• Ask a parent for the confirmation name a fortnight ahead - using it makes the card.
• Book the meal before the bishop's date is confirmed and you'll be rebooking; wait for the parish letter.
• Give money towards something they've named rather than a surprise object.

Where to shop next

• Religious milestones hub
• Religious milestones explained
• Milestone collections
• Christening timing, costs and wording
• Baptism timing, costs and wording
• Communion timing, costs and wording
• Confirmation timing, costs and wording
• Naming ceremony timing, costs and wording
• Confirmation gifts
• Confirmation card messages
• Confirmation cards
• Confirmation gifts collection
• Planning the party? Birthday party ideas
• How to make a balloon arch
• Photo booth prop ideas

Frequently asked questions

What age is confirmation in the UK?

Usually eleven to fifteen in Catholic dioceses and fourteen upwards in the Church of England, though adults are confirmed at any age.

How long does confirmation preparation take?

Most parishes run monthly sessions from autumn to spring, plus a retreat day or a service project.

How much does a confirmation cost?

£250 to £700 for a typical UK celebration, largely a meal out rather than a hall and a buffet.

How much do you give for a confirmation gift?

Guests £15 to £30, wider family £20 to £50, sponsors and godparents £30 to £100 and grandparents £50 to £150.

What do you write in a confirmation card?

Acknowledge that they chose this, add one line of pride and one blessing if it fits your family, keep it to four lines, and sign with your relationship and the date.