Religious milestones explained: christening, communion, confirmation and naming ceremonies

Four days, one shape: a short service, a room full of family afterwards, and a card that gets kept in a drawer for thirty years.

This guide runs through christenings and baptisms, First Holy Communion, confirmation and secular naming ceremonies - what actually happens, the age it happens at, what UK guests and godparents spend, and the wording that works in the card.

If you already know which one you're going to, the links at the foot of the page go straight to the full guide and the cards.

Christening and baptism - usually under one year old

• Baptism is the sacrament; christening is the British word for the naming part of an infant baptism. Same cards, same wording.
• The service runs 20 to 40 minutes, often after the main Sunday service, and the godparents make promises out loud.
• Godparents: two or three is usual, and most churches ask that at least one is baptised themselves.
• What guests spend: £10 to £25. Wider family £20 to £40. Godparents £50 to £150, often as savings.
• The gift that lasts is dated: a print, a candle, a keepsake box, or a sealed letter for their eighteenth.
• In the card: name the baby, one line of congratulation to the parents, one good wish, then sign with the date.

First Holy Communion - around seven or eight

• Mostly Catholic, after months of preparation classes; the child receives the host for the first time.
• The child is old enough to read the card, so write to them, not to their parents.
• White dress or a suit, a rosette, photographs outside, then a party at home or in the parish hall.
• What guests spend: £15 to £30. Godparents £30 to £75. Money is normal - say in the card what it's for.
• Traditional gifts are a missal, rosary or a piece of jewellery; a dated keepsake works just as well.
• In the card: congratulate them by name, say you're proud, add one blessing, and keep it to five lines.

Confirmation - usually eleven to fifteen

• The point at which the young person confirms the promises made for them at baptism - they chose this themselves.
• A bishop usually presides, and the candidate often takes a confirmation name and has a sponsor.
• The single biggest mistake is a babyish card. Buy for the age they are, not the age they were christened.
• What guests spend: £15 to £30. Sponsors and godparents £30 to £100.
• Gifts that land: something they'd keep on a shelf, a book inscribed with the date, or money towards something specific.
• In the card: acknowledge that this was their decision. That one sentence is what makes it a good card.

Naming ceremonies - the non-religious alternative

• No church, no blessing, no faith wording - a welcome, the naming, promises, a reading or two, then food.
• Godparents become guide parents, supporting adults or mentors. Pick one term and use it everywhere.
• It carries no legal weight; the birth registration does that. Celebrants charge roughly £150 to £400 if you want it led.
• Held anywhere: garden, village hall, front room. Twenty minutes of ceremony is plenty.
• Gifts follow the christening pattern minus the religious items - dated prints, candles, books, savings.
• In the card: nothing to cross out. "Happy naming day" and a line about the name itself does it.

What every one of these days needs

• A card signed with the full date underneath your name - it's what turns it into a keepsake.
• One banner behind the cake table, so the photographs have a backdrop.
• A cake topper rather than piped icing, so a plain cake looks made for them.
• A guest book or time capsule, sealed for their eighteenth.
• Two people briefed to take photographs, because everyone assumes someone else is.
• Food out earlier than feels necessary - babies and grandparents both need feeding.

How the four compare at a glance

• Age: christening under one, communion seven to eight, confirmation eleven to fifteen, naming day any time in the first year or two.
• Who promises: godparents at a christening, the child at communion and confirmation, guide parents at a naming day.
• Typical guest spend: £10-£25, £15-£30, £15-£30 and £10-£25 respectively.
• Card tone: to the parents, to the child, to the young adult, and to the family.
• Length of service: 20-40 minutes, a full Mass, a full Mass with a bishop, and about 20 minutes.

Shop christening cards

For the table

Cake toppers, banners and confetti we actually have in stock.

How to write it so it lands

• Write the date under your signature. Every keepsake card is read again decades later.
• Ask the parents before giving money or savings, so grandparents and godparents don't double up.
• Buy the card for the age they are now - a seven-year-old and a fifteen-year-old need very different cards.

Where to shop next

• Religious milestones hub
• Christening party ideas
• Christening cake ideas
• Christening decorations
• Holy Communion explained
• First Holy Communion gifts
• Naming ceremony guide
• Godparent proposal ideas
• Party games that work in any room
• Party invite wording
• Party themes and decorations
• Party ideas hub
• Christmas quiz questions
• First Holy Communion cards
• Naming ceremony cards
• Christening cards
• Planning the party? Birthday party ideas
• Birthday badges & party pins
• How to make a balloon arch
• Photo booth prop ideas
• Party bag ideas for adults
• How much helium do you need for balloons?

Frequently asked questions

What are the main religious milestones for a child in the UK?

Christening or baptism in the first year, First Holy Communion at around seven or eight in Catholic families, and confirmation between eleven and fifteen. A naming ceremony is the secular alternative to a christening.

What is the difference between a christening and a baptism?

Baptism is the sacrament itself; christening is the British term for the naming part of an infant baptism. In practice the same cards, gifts and wording suit both.

How much should you spend on a christening, communion or confirmation gift?

Guests usually spend £10 to £30, wider family £20 to £40, godparents and sponsors £30 to £150 depending on the milestone, and grandparents £50 to £100, often as savings.

Do you have to be religious to go to a christening or communion?

No. Plenty of guests aren't churchgoers. Sit, stand and stay quiet during the prayers, and give a warm card without religious wording if you'd rather.

What is a naming ceremony?

A non-religious celebration of a child's name, with guide parents in place of godparents. It has no legal standing - the birth registration handles that - and can be led by a celebrant or a relative.