How To Cheer Up Someone Who Is Ill

How to cheer up someone who is ill

Illness is boring long before it is frightening. Most of what helps is aimed at the boredom and the admin, not the diagnosis.

Below: what to say, what to send, and the differences between a short illness and a long one.

Get well cards to send

Blank inside, designed in house, posted first class.

Browse get well soon cards

What to say

  • Thinking of you. No update needed.
  • How are you, and how are you really?
  • I am not going to ask about the tests unless you bring them up.
  • Tell me something that is not about being ill.
  • You are allowed to be sick of it.
  • I will keep messaging whether or not you reply.
  • What is the most annoying bit? I want the detail.
  • Sending post so something good lands on the mat.

What to send

  • A card, because texts vanish and cards sit on the windowsill.
  • Something to read that requires no concentration.
  • A candle for a room they are stuck in.
  • Proper food, portioned and freezable.
  • A puzzle book or quiz for the long afternoons.
  • Nice hand cream - hospital air is brutal.
  • Something daft that makes them laugh once.
  • A second card three weeks later when everyone else has stopped.

For a long term illness

  • Keep inviting them, and make it easy to cancel.
  • Offer lifts to appointments - the travel is often the worst part.
  • Learn the name of the condition and get it right.
  • Do not ask if they are better yet.
  • Ask what a good day looks like, and plan for those.
  • Support the carer as well as the patient.

What not to say

  • You don't look ill.
  • My aunt had that and she was fine / she wasn't.
  • Have you tried [supplement / diet / positive thinking]?
  • Everything happens for a reason.
  • At least it's not [worse condition].
  • When will you be back to normal?

Browse get well soon cards

How to write it so it lands

  • Never ask for a medical update. If they want to share it, they will.
  • Diarise a second card for a month later. It is the one that gets remembered.

Where to shop next

Frequently asked questions

What do you send someone who is ill?

Something for the boredom rather than the illness - a card, something to read, a candle, real food. Avoid anything that needs energy to use.

How often should you check in?

Little and often, with no reply expected. Week three onwards matters most: that is when everyone else goes quiet.

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