Important Questions To Ask Your Dad About His Life And History

Most people find out the interesting things about their father far too late, usually from someone else at a funeral. The awkward part is starting - nobody sits down and announces they would like to interview their dad.

So use questions. They do the work, they give him permission to talk, and they turn it into a conversation instead of an interrogation. Here are sixty that reliably get an answer.

Honest note: we make cards, pin badges and prints in the UK. Journals and books mentioned here are recommendations from elsewhere.

Childhood and the house he grew up in

• What did your street look like? Who lived either side?
• What did your house smell like on a Sunday?
• What were you afraid of as a child?
• What did you get in trouble for most?
• What did your mum and dad do all day? What did you think they did?
• What was your first proper memory?
• What did you do all summer when you were ten?
• What was school actually like - not the facts, the feeling?
• Who was your best friend at seven, and what happened to him?
• What was the first thing you ever saved up for?

Growing up, work and money

• What was your first job and what did it pay?
• What did you want to be, before you were sensible about it?
• What was the first record or tape you bought?
• Where did you go on a night out at eighteen?
• What was the worst job you ever had?
• Who taught you the thing you're best at?
• When were you most broke, and what did you do about it?
• What's a job you turned down, and do you think about it?
• What did you think you'd be doing at forty?
• What's the best decision you ever made about work?

Love, family and us

• How did you and mum actually meet? Not the version we all know.
• What did you think the first time you saw her?
• What was the wedding day really like?
• What did you think when I was born?
• What were you most worried about as a new dad?
• What did your dad get right? What did he get wrong?
• What do you wish you'd asked your own parents?
• What's something about our family nobody talks about?
• What were you like at my age?
• What did you find hardest about raising us?

How to ask, and how to keep the answers

• Do it side by side - in the car, on a walk, washing up. Face to face makes it an interview.
• Ask one question and then shut up. The pause is where the good answer comes from.
• Record the audio on your phone, with his permission. His voice matters as much as the facts.
• Never correct his version of events. It's his memory, not a court case.
• Give him a prompt journal if he'd rather write than talk - plenty of dads will write things they'd never say out loud, and a 300-question one keeps him going for months.

Shop cards for dad

How to write it so it lands

• Ask side by side, not face to face.
• Leave the pause alone.
• Record the audio - his voice matters too.

Where to shop next

• Greetings cards
• Birthday cards
• Pin badges
• Wall art and prints
• Candles
• Sentimental 60th birthday gifts for dad
• The Dad Life Story Journal, explained
• Retirement gifts for dad
• Father of the groom gifts
• Gifts for new dads
• Gifts for dads who want nothing
• Funny 60th birthday gifts for dad
• Funny retirement gifts for dad
• Man cave wall art ideas
• Wellness gifts for men
• Best birthday cards for dad
• Father's Day gift ideas
• Planning the party? Birthday party ideas
• How to make a balloon arch
• Photo booth prop ideas
• Good luck cards
• Sympathy and bereavement cards
• Sympathy cards guide
• Pin badges
• All guides

Frequently asked questions

What questions should I ask my dad about his life?

Start with his childhood street, house and school, then his first job and first record, then how he met your mum and what he thought when you were born. Specific, sensory questions get better answers than big ones.

How do you get your dad to open up?

Ask side by side rather than face to face - in the car, on a walk, doing the washing up - and leave the pause after the question alone.

How do I record my dad's life story?

Record the audio on your phone with his permission, or give him a prompt journal to write in. Many men write things they would never say out loud.

What are good family history questions to ask?

Ask about houses, streets, jobs, money, and what his own parents were like, including what he wishes he had asked them. Names and dates can be checked later; the stories cannot.

When is the best time to ask?

Before you feel any urgency about it. Birthdays, Father's Day and long car journeys are the easy openings.

Do you make the life story journal yourselves?

No. We design and print greetings cards, enamel pin badges, prints and party decorations in the UK. Journals and books are recommendations from elsewhere - the only things linked to our own shop are ours.