What To Say When Someone Moves Into A Care Home
What to say when someone moves into care
A move into care is a loss dressed up as an admin task. Two people usually need a message: the person moving, and the relative who signed the forms and feels terrible about it.
Keep it warm and ordinary. Nobody wants a card that sounds like an ending.
Thinking of you cards
A short handwritten line in a card lands better than a long message on a phone.
For the person moving in
- New address, same you. I will be down to see the place soon.
- Wishing you a settled first few weeks. I will write again once you have found the good chair.
- Thinking of you as you settle in. Tell me what to bring next visit.
- It is a big change and you have handled bigger. See you Saturday.
For the family who made the decision
- You did the loving thing, even though it does not feel like it.
- You have kept her safe for years. This is more of that, not less.
- Nobody wins these decisions. You made the kindest one available.
Keeping in touch afterwards
- A postcard a week, even with nothing in it, is the thing they will look forward to.
- Large print, short lines and a photo on the back beat a long letter.
- Say when you are next visiting - having a date to look at helps.
Browse sympathy and thinking of you cards
How to write it so it lands
- Write the address on the card so staff can help them reply.
- Send post regularly rather than one big parcel.
- Visit on a weekday - weekends are busy and short visits are fine.
Where to shop next
- New home card messages
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- What not to say when someone is grieving
- How to support someone months later
- Practical help to offer instead of words
- Sympathy and difficult moments guides
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Frequently asked questions
Is a new home card appropriate for a care home move?
Only if the tone is gentle. A warm thinking of you card usually sits better than a celebratory new home one.
What do you write for someone with dementia?
Short sentences, present tense, your full name at the end, and a photo if you can. Avoid quizzing them on memories.
How do you support the main carer?
Ask about them, not just the resident. Guilt in the first month is almost universal and rarely talked about.