How to give a toast

A toast is not a speech. It is under a minute, it ends with a name, and its only job is to give a room a reason to raise a glass together.

Here is the whole thing: structure, timing, etiquette and the mistakes that make people wince.

The structure

• Get attention - a raised glass and 'could I say a quick word' beats tapping cutlery on crystal.
• Say who you are, if half the room does not know.
• Say one specific, true thing about the person or occasion.
• Name the toast: 'To [name].'
• Drink, sit down, done.

Timing

• Thirty to sixty seconds. Ninety at absolute most.
• Wait until glasses are filled - check before you stand.
• At a meal, toast between courses, not mid-mouthful.
• At a party, toast early rather than late. The room gets harder to hold.

Etiquette

• Stand, unless the group is fewer than about six.
• You do not drink to yourself - if you are being toasted, sit and smile.
• The host usually toasts first; guests wait.
• Non-drinkers raise whatever they are holding. Nobody should be made to explain.
• Never toast with an empty glass. It reads as a bad omen in a lot of places and looks careless everywhere.

Common mistakes

• Turning it into a speech. Length is the number one failure.
• Inside jokes that exclude most of the room.
• Reading from a phone.
• Forgetting to actually say the name at the end, so nobody knows when to drink.
• Toasting after too many drinks. Go early.

Ready-made toasts

• General: To good friends, good food and the people who make both happen.
• Wedding: To [names] - may the years be kind and the arguments be short.
• Birthday: To [name], and to another year of putting up with us.
• Work: To the team - we did that, and we should say so out loud.
• New home: To [names] and the new place. May it be full of noise.
• New baby: To [names], and to [baby], who has no idea what's coming.
• Absent friends: To absent friends. We're thinking of them.

Browse congratulations cards

How to write it so it lands

• Check the glasses are full before you stand. Half the awkwardness comes from this.
• Always end on the name. It is the cue everyone is waiting for.

Where to shop next

• Best man speech jokes
• Wedding speech one-liners
• Birthday toast wording
• Retirement speech ideas
• How to write a eulogy
• How to give a toast
• Maid of honour speech ideas
• Planning the party? Birthday party ideas
• How to make a balloon arch
• Photo booth prop ideas

Frequently asked questions

How long should a toast last?

Thirty to sixty seconds. Anything over ninety seconds has become a speech, which needs warning and a different structure.

Do you drink to yourself when being toasted?

No. If you are the subject of the toast, stay seated, do not raise your glass, and thank people afterwards.