Rude Christmas cards are for the people who'd rather laugh than receive another robin on a snowy fence. Our rude Christmas card range brings together cheeky festive designs for partners, close friends and anyone whose sense of humour leans firmly towards the naughty list. Every card is an original Feel Good Times design, and every product page shows the real photographs, so you can see exactly what the front says before you choose. Browse the designs below, then open a card to check its current price and delivery options.
Cheeky emoji Christmas cards
Two of the designs take the most famous suggestive emojis and dress them up for the season. The Cheeky Peach Rude Christmas Card puts a peach in a Santa hat, while the Cheeky Eggplant Rude Christmas Card gives an aubergine the same festive treatment. Neither needs a long explanation: the joke lands the moment the envelope is opened. They work especially well for a partner who already shares that emoji with you all year round, or a friend who will immediately know why you picked it.
Because the humour is visual, these are easy cards to pair with a short, affectionate message inside. Let the front deliver the punchline and use the inside to say something you actually mean.
Rude Christmas cards for your partner
Santa's Sack Rude Christmas Card looks innocent at first glance, with an illustrated bunch of mistletoe tied with a big red bow. The rhyme underneath is where it takes a very different turn, making it a natural pick for a boyfriend, girlfriend, husband or wife you would quite like to find under the mistletoe. If you want help balancing the joke with something sincere, our guides to Christmas card messages for your boyfriend and Christmas card messages for your girlfriend have plenty of starting points.
Naughty Christmas cards for friends
Wishing You a Naughty Christmas, You Filthy Animal is built around a festive wreath with a red bow, baubles, white flowers and greenery, paired with a greeting that is far less polite than the decoration suggests. It suits the friend who has never been anywhere near the nice list and would be disappointed by anything more wholesome. It also makes a good card to slip in with a funny stocking filler; our funny stocking fillers for adults guide has ideas that share the same spirit.
Who should get a rude Christmas card?
A rude card is a compliment when it shows you know someone's sense of humour well, and an awkward moment when it doesn't. Save these designs for people you are confident will laugh, and think about where the card will be opened and displayed. A card that is perfect for your partner may not be right on a shared mantelpiece when grandparents or children are visiting, and it is rarely the right choice for colleagues, clients or a work Secret Santa. For family members, teachers or the office, our main Christmas cards range has warmer designs, and funny Christmas cards offers jokes that are cheeky without being explicit.
What to write inside
The best rude Christmas card messages keep things short. One line that builds on the joke, followed by a genuine wish for a happy Christmas, is usually enough. You might mention a shared memory from the year, a plan for the holidays or simply how much you are looking forward to seeing them. If you are stuck, our Christmas card messages and wishes guide has funny and heartfelt options for every kind of recipient.
Choose your card and order in time
Each design is sold as its own card. Open the product page to see the full photographs, current price and any available options, and check delivery information at checkout, especially if you need the card before a particular date or celebration. Christmas post gets busier from early December, so ordering sooner gives you time to write your message and send it. For cheeky designs for other occasions all year round, browse our rude and funny cards.
Choose your rude Christmas card
