Funeral Flowers, Donations, or Neither

We make cards and prints in the UK. There is nothing to sell here beyond a sympathy card, and this guide is written to be useful rather than to sell you one.

"Family flowers only, donations to..." is the most common line in a UK funeral notice and the most misread.

Here's what it means and what to do in each case.

Reading the notice

• "Family flowers only": don't send flowers. Send a card, and a donation if one is named.
• "Donations in lieu of flowers": give to the named charity instead, however small.
• No instruction at all: flowers are fine, but a card alone is never wrong.
• If you're unsure, ask the funeral director rather than the family.

How much to give

• £10 to £20 is completely normal for a colleague or neighbour.
• £20 to £50 for a close friend, more for family if you want to.
• Give through the funeral director's online page or the charity's own in-memory page, so the family sees the total.
• Tick Gift Aid if you're a UK taxpayer - it adds 25% at no cost to you.

If you do send flowers

• Send them to the funeral director, not the house, unless you've been told otherwise.
• Keep the card message short and sign with your full name - families are matching names to faces.
• Consider a plant for the house afterwards instead, which lasts longer than a week.
• Check for allergies or a woodland burial, where flowers are often discouraged.

Alternatives to both

• Give your time: lifts, childcare, phone-answering, paperwork.
• Food for the week of the funeral, when nobody cooks.
• A donation to something the person cared about, even if it wasn't named.
• A letter with a memory in it, which the family will read more than once.

Browse sympathy cards

How to write it so it lands

• Read the notice literally.
• Tick Gift Aid.
• A memory in the card beats the size of the wreath.

Where to shop next

• Funeral etiquette in the UK
• What to do when someone dies
• What to wear to a funeral
• Helping someone in the weeks after
• Condolence gift ideas
• Arranging a funeral: a practical guide
• What not to say when someone is grieving
• How much to give for a funeral collection
• Funeral songs
• Difficult moments guides
• All guides

Frequently asked questions

What does family flowers only mean?

Only immediate family should send flowers. Everyone else sends a card and, if one is named, a donation to the chosen charity.

How much should you donate at a funeral?

£10 to £20 is normal for a colleague or neighbour and £20 to £50 for a close friend. Anything is welcome.

Where do you send funeral flowers?

To the funeral director, timed for the morning of the service, unless the family says otherwise.