Bridesmaid and Best Man Duties, In Plain English

We make cards, pin badges, prints and party bits in the UK. We don't sell inflatable anything, so this is a plain guide with our own bits only where they genuinely fit.

Being asked is lovely. The job description arrives later, usually by text, in pieces, over eight months.

Here is the whole thing up front so you can say yes knowing what it involves.

Before the wedding

• Plan the hen or stag do, or delegate it clearly to someone who wants to.
• Be the person who answers questions so the couple doesn't have to answer forty of them.
• Turn up to the dress or suit fittings, on time, without complaining about the colour.
• Keep a list of everyone's contact details for the week of the wedding.

On the morning

• Bring the emergency kit: plasters, safety pins, painkillers, tissues, a phone charger, a snack.
• Make sure the bride or groom eats something before midday. Shop this card
• Handle the rings, the buttonholes and anyone who is running late.
• Keep the room calm. That's most of the job.

During the day

• Introduce people who don't know anyone. It's the highest-value thing you'll do all day.
• Watch for the guest standing alone and go and talk to them.
• Keep the speech to five minutes, one story, no ex-partners.
• Check on the couple's parents at some point. Nobody else will.

The money and the exit

• UK bridesmaids and best men commonly spend £300 to £600 across the outfit, the do and travel.
• Say early if that's not affordable - the couple would far rather know in month one.
• It's fine to decline the role. "I'd love to be there but I can't do the job justice this year" is enough.
• Whatever else you do, write them a proper card. It's the only bit they keep.

Browse wedding cards

How to write it so it lands

• Emergency kit on the morning.
• Five-minute speech, no ex-partners.
• Talk to the guest standing alone.

Where to shop next

• Hen party games
• Hen party gift ideas
• Stag do ideas in the UK
• Stag do games
• How much a hen or stag do costs
• Hen party ideas in the UK
• Hen party at home
• Stag and hen planning checklist
• Stag do gift ideas
• Hen party bag ideas
• Hen party fancy dress themes
• Wedding gift ideas
• Wedding speech one-liners
• Party supplies
• All guides
• Hen party decorations
• How to make a balloon arch
• Photo booth prop ideas
• Pin badges

Frequently asked questions

What does a best man actually have to do?

Plan the stag do, look after the rings, keep the groom calm and fed, give a five-minute speech and handle problems quietly on the day.

How much does being a bridesmaid cost in the UK?

Commonly £300 to £600 once the outfit, hen do, travel and a gift are counted. Say early if that's out of reach.

Can you say no to being a bridesmaid?

Yes. Say it kindly and early: "I'd love to be there, but I can't do the job justice this year."