Top 50 Knock Knock Jokes (Clean and Actually Funny)

September 9, 2026

If you are looking for the absolute best knock knock jokes to share with friends and family, you have come to the right place. Our handpicked collection features fifty funny knock knock jokes that are guaranteed to raise a smile. Whether you want good knock knock jokes to write in a greeting card or just need a quick chuckle, these clean, classic gags are perfect for all ages.

The knock knock joke is the only joke format that survives being told badly by a six-year-old, which is why it never dies.

Fifty below, all clean, all fine to write in a card. The classics first, then the groaners, then a handful you probably haven't heard.

Every one of these fits inside a blank card if you keep your handwriting sensible.

The classics everyone knows

Some of the best knock knock jokes are the ones we have all grown up with. These timeless crowd-pleasers are perfect for testing on kids or reviving at the dinner table. They might be familiar, but they still deliver a guaranteed laugh every time, making them a great starting point if you need a quick dose of nostalgia.

Knock knock. Who's there? Boo. Boo who? Don't cry, it's only a joke.
Knock knock. Who's there? Lettuce. Lettuce who? Lettuce in, it's freezing out here.
Knock knock. Who's there? Cows go. Cows go who? No they don't, they go moo.
Knock knock. Who's there? Interrupting cow. Interrupting c- MOO.
Knock knock. Who's there? Doris. Doris who? Doris locked, that's why I'm knocking.
Knock knock. Who's there? Tank. Tank who? You're welcome.
Knock knock. Who's there? Nobel. Nobel who? No bell, that's why I knocked.
Knock knock. Who's there? Olive. Olive who? Olive next door, let me in.
Knock knock. Who's there? Atch. Atch who? Bless you.
Knock knock. Who's there? Ice cream. Ice cream who? Ice cream if you don't let me in.

Groaners for the family table

If you want funny knock knock jokes that make everyone at the table sigh and roll their eyes, these cheesy groaners are exactly what you need. Ideal for family gatherings, these puns strike the perfect balance between being genuinely clever and wonderfully silly, ensuring everyone from children to grandparents joins in the fun.

Knock knock. Who's there? Wooden shoe. Wooden shoe who? Wooden shoe like to know.
Knock knock. Who's there? Alpaca. Alpaca who? Alpaca the suitcase, you get the car.
Knock knock. Who's there? Needle. Needle who? Needle little help getting in.
Knock knock. Who's there? Justin. Justin who? Justin time for tea.
Knock knock. Who's there? Hatch. Hatch who? Put a tissue in your sleeve.
Knock knock. Who's there? Cash. Cash who? No thanks, I'm more of a peanut man.
Knock knock. Who's there? Yah. Yah who? Calm down, it's only a knock knock joke.
Knock knock. Who's there? Kanga. Kanga who? Actually, it's kangaroo.
Knock knock. Who's there? Adore. Adore who? Adore is between us, open it.
Knock knock. Who's there? Butter. Butter who? Butter let me in, it's raining.

British ones

We have gathered a selection of good knock knock jokes with a distinctly British flavour. From playful nods to our national obsession with putting the kettle on to dry humour about our unpredictable weather, these tea-centric giggles are perfect for sharing with friends over a warm brew or writing to a loved one who appreciates classic UK wit.

Knock knock. Who's there? Bea. Bea who? Bea kettle's on, I'll let myself in.
Knock knock. Who's there? Pudding. Pudding who? Pudding on the kettle, are you?
Knock knock. Who's there? Yorkshire. Yorkshire who? Yorkshire you don't want a cup of tea?
Knock knock. Who's there? Barry. Barry who? Barry nice weather we're having, for once.
Knock knock. Who's there? Wendy. Wendy who? Wendy bus coming? I've been here twenty minutes.
Knock knock. Who's there? Norma Lee. Norma Lee who? Norma Lee I'd ring, but the bell's broken.
Knock knock. Who's there? Fish. Fish who? Bless you again, you're full of cold.
Knock knock. Who's there? Scone. Scone who? Scone be dark soon, let me in.
Knock knock. Who's there? Queue. Queue who? I've been waiting patiently, obviously.
Knock knock. Who's there? Sausage. Sausage who? Sausage a lovely house I thought I'd knock.

Ones you probably haven't heard

For those who think they know every gag in the book, this collection of funny knock knock jokes offers something a bit different. These clever, lesser-known wordplays will surprise your friends and keep everyone guessing. If you want to stand out with a fresh laugh, these witty options are sure to do the trick.

Knock knock. Who's there? Broken pencil. Broken pencil who? Never mind, it's pointless.
Knock knock. Who's there? To. To who? To whom.
Knock knock. Who's there? Repeat. Repeat who? Who who who who.
Knock knock. Who's there? A little old lady. A little old lady who? I didn't know you could yodel.
Knock knock. Who's there? Spell. Spell who? W. H. O.
Knock knock. Who's there? Amish. Amish who? You're not a shoe.
Knock knock. Who's there? Anee. Anee who? Anee one you like, that's the point.
Knock knock. Who's there? Snow. Snow who? Snow use, I've forgotten the punchline.
Knock knock. Who's there? Dishes. Dishes who? Dishes the last one, I promise.
Knock knock. Who's there? Alec. Alec who? Alec-tricity, which is why the bell's not working.

How to write one in a card

Adding knock knock jokes to a greeting card is a brilliant way to make someone smile, and the structure of these short gags works beautifully on paper. Getting the timing right is easy once you know how to write your message. Here is how to use these popular jokes to create a memorable, lighthearted card they will want to keep.

Write the setup on the front page and the punchline inside - the card does the timing for you.
Use their name as the knock knock name. It always gets a bigger laugh than it deserves.
Keep it to four lines. Any longer and you run out of card.
Sign it underneath, then add the date. The joke ages, the card gets kept.
If the joke is terrible, say so in the card. Owning it is half the gag.

Key things to remember

Read them out loud before you commit one to a card - half of these only work spoken.
Use the recipient's name in the setup; personalised nonsense always wins.
Pair a groaner with a straight-faced card. The contrast is the joke.

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Frequently asked questions

What is the best knock knock joke?

The interrupting cow is still the highest-scoring one with children, because the punchline arrives before they've finished asking.

Are knock knock jokes suitable for children?

Yes - every joke on this page is clean and safe for primary-age children, cards and cracker readings.

How do you write a knock knock joke in a card?

Setup on the front page, punchline inside. Four lines maximum, then sign and date it underneath.

What is a good example of top 50 knock knock jokes?

"Knock knock. Who's there? Boo. Boo who? Don't cry, it's only a joke." is one of 45 examples on this page. Pick the one closest to the tone you want, then add a specific detail of your own - a shared memory, a date, a name - so it reads as yours rather than copied.