Funny Birthday Cards UK: Buying Guide And Messages
Funny birthday cards: how to pick one and what to write inside
A funny birthday card has one job: get a laugh out of someone who has already opened four cards with a balloon on the front. That means the joke has to be aimed at them, not at birthdays in general.
Every card we sell is written and drawn in house, printed in the UK, blank inside and posted first class - usually the same working day. This page covers how to choose one, what to write, and where the rest of our joke guides live.
Funny birthday cards, posted today
Original joke cards drawn in house. Blank inside so the punchline stays yours. Printed and posted from the UK.
Happy Birthday Papa (Happy Birthday Card) (Multiple designs)
£3.87
Happy Birthday Bab (Happy Birthday Card) (Multiple designs)
£3.87
Yoda Best Multi-Occasion Greeting Card
£3.87
Happy Birthday Handsome (Happy Birthday Card) (Multiple designs)
£3.87
You Old Bastard (Funny Birthday Card)
£3.87
Happy Birthday Card For The World's Best Sister-in-Law
£3.87
How to choose a funny birthday card
- Match the joke to the person, not the age. A card about their driving beats a generic 'you're old' gag every time.
- If they hate their age, joke about the year instead of the number.
- For work colleagues, aim at the office - meetings, emails, the kettle - never at the person.
- Rude cards are for people who swear in front of you first. If you're unsure, they're not.
- Blank inside beats pre-printed verse: the funniest line in the card should be yours.
Funny birthday messages to copy
- Happy birthday. You don't look a day over whatever you're telling people.
- Congratulations on completing another lap. Same time next year.
- Another year wiser. Allegedly.
- The candles now cost more than the cake. Happy birthday.
- I got you the gift of my presence. You're welcome.
Pin badges that finish the joke
Drop a badge in the envelope and the card becomes a small present.
Where to shop next
- Buy a birthday card
- How to write a joke for a card
- Joke card ideas
- Funny card messages
- Joke card mistakes
- Top 50 dad jokes
- Top 50 knock knock jokes
- Top 50 one-liners
- Shop funny cards
- Shop birthday cards
- Planning the party? Birthday party ideas
- Birthday badges & party pins
- How to make a balloon arch
- Photo booth prop ideas
- Party bag ideas for adults
- How much helium do you need for balloons?
- Gifts to make someone smile
- Thinking of you gifts
- Birthday pin badges
- Funny Birthday Cards for Dad - shop the range
- Funny Birthday Cards for Her - shop the range
- Funny Birthday Cards for Him - shop the range
Frequently asked questions
What makes a good funny birthday card?
One short gag aimed at something true about the person, then a warm line underneath. The joke gets the laugh; the honest sentence is why the card gets kept.
Are your funny birthday cards blank inside?
Yes. Every card is blank inside so the message and the punchline are yours.
What do you write in a funny birthday card?
Keep it under twenty words, put their name in it, and never explain the joke. Finish with one sincere sentence.
How fast do the cards arrive?
Orders placed on a working day are usually posted the same day. First Class is normally next working day; Second Class is meant to take two working days but can take up to five.