Funny leaving rhymes

The leaving card comes round the office and everyone writes "good luck!" A rhyme takes ninety seconds and is the one people read twice.

Twenty-five below, split by reason for leaving. Every one aims at the job, never the person, so they're all safe to sign.

New job

• You're off to somewhere new and bright, With better coffee, so we've heard. Don't fix everything week one - It sets a precedent. Just a word.
• Good luck in the brand new role, New badge, new desk, new set of rules. They've no idea what they've just got - We do. We had you first, the fools. Shop this card
• New job, new chair, new nobody Who knows which meetings you can skip. Learn that first, learn it fast - That's the whole apprenticeship.
• We'd say the place won't be the same, And honestly, that's rather true. The printer will still be broken though - Some things survive. Good luck. From you-know-who. Shop this card
• You're leaving, and you've left a gap, Mostly in the biscuit budget. And partly in the bit of work That no one else can even nudge it.

Retirement

• No more alarms, no more commute, No more emails marked 'urgent - read'. Just mornings that begin at ten, And afternoons you'll fill with weeds.
• You've done your years, you've done them well, You've trained up half of everyone here. Go and do absolutely nothing - You've earned it. Every single year.
• Retirement's not the end of work, It's just work that you actually chose. Sheds, and grandkids, and long lunches - Good luck. And well done. Cheers. Off you go.
• They'll ask you how you fill the days, And you'll say 'I'm busier than before'. And it'll be true, and that's the trick - Enjoy it. Properly. And more.
• Forty years of turning up, Of sorting out what others broke. Go and put your feet up now - And don't answer if we call. No joke.

Maternity and moving away

• You're off to do a harder job, With worse hours and no lunch break. Good luck, congratulations too - Come back for cake. Do come for cake. Shop this card
• Enjoy the leave, ignore your phone, We'll cope, we always somehow do. Send photos when you feel like it, And not before. We're here for you.
• New baby, new schedule, new world, And no handover doc for that. You'll be brilliant, obviously - You organised our Christmas. Fact.
• You're moving miles and miles away, Which frankly feels a bit extreme, When all we did was ask you once To run the Monday morning scheme.
• New city, new office, new start, Same you, which is the useful bit. Stay in touch, or don't, that's fine - We'll message you regardless of it.

Short ones for a crowded card

• Good luck, don't fix it all week one - Save something for the second one.
• You're leaving, we're bereft, it's true. Also: can we have your chair? Thanks. Do.
• New job, new you, same terrible jokes. Good luck from all your favourite folks.
• They've got the better end of this. We've got your mug. We'll take the hit.
• Off you go, and do it well. Ring us if it's awful. Tell.
• Thanks for covering when I said I was 'on a call'. I was in bed.

Rules for a leaving card

• Aim at the job, never the person. Cards get passed round and screenshotted.
• Two lines is plenty when forty people are signing. Long verses eat the card.
• Write in the middle if you can - the edges get covered by later signatures.
• Add one specific thank you. "Thanks for the handover doc" beats "good luck" every time. Shop this card
• If you're the manager, be the punchline. It always reads better from above.

Shop cards

Cards with room for a rhyme

Blank inside, so the verse is yours. Designed in house, posted first class.

Badges to pin on top

A pin badge turns a card into a gift for a couple of pounds more.

How to write it so it lands

• Write your rhyme before the card reaches you - the good space goes fast.
• One joke, one genuine thank you, your name. That's the whole leaving card.
• For retirement, drop the workload jokes and go warmer. It's a bigger moment than a job change.

Where to shop next

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Frequently asked questions

What can I write in a leaving card that isn't 'good luck'?

A two-line rhyme plus one specific thank you. Naming the thing they actually did is what makes a leaving card worth keeping.

Is it safe to be funny in a work leaving card?

Yes, if you aim at the job rather than the person - meetings, the printer, the biscuit budget. Never performance, pay or personal habits.

How long should a leaving card message be?

Two to four lines. Forty colleagues are signing the same card, so brevity is a kindness.